At 36, Gabrielle Bernstein Recovered A Repressed Memory Of Being Abused As A Child

Her healing journey is the subject of her new book, Happy Days.

BY GABRIELLE BERNSTEIN AND AS TOLD TO AMELIA HARNISH

When I was 36 years old, I remembered being sexually abused during my childhood. Before this repressed memory came into my consciousness, my life was picture-perfect from the outside looking in. I had clawed my way back from addiction and been sober for 11 years. My career as a motivational speaker and spiritual leader was exceeding my wildest dreams: I’d published best-selling books and been interviewed by Oprah. My husband, Zach, and I were trying for a baby.

In all the obvious ways, my life was expanding. At the same time, I felt out of control. Zach had left his career to help manage my business. Trying to conceive was exciting, but also frustrating and overwhelming. Sure, there was some stress, but it didn’t make sense how I was reacting. Subconsciously, I was falling apart: panic attacks, brain fog, terrible gastrointestinal issues, and even numbness in my limbs. Days would go by where I’d be totally freaking out, telling myself I couldn’t go on like this anymore. In short, I was losing my shit.